Ridiculous Song #13 - Taylor Swift, "Our Song"

I was riding shotgun with my hair undone

In the front seat of his car
He's got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel
The other on my heart

The other hand is on your heart? Is it, though? Because it sounds like something people do in private, and not in a fucking car. Come on, Taylor, how can you expect to respect yourself when a guy can't respect you? I'm glad we had this talk, and yes, I already made your lunch for tomorrow.

This blog just had a three-way love child with What Taylor Swift's Mom Would Say and an after-school special. Do you need to wonder anymore why it's the shit?

Ridiculous Song #11 - Blue, "U Make Me Wanna"

I'll take you home real quick
And sit you down on the couch
Pour some Dom Perignon and hit the lights out.
Baby we can make sweet love.
Then we'll take it nice and slow.
I'm gonna touch you like you've never know before
We're gonna make love all night.

You know how there's always that one person you know who doesn't hesitate to tell you everything about their sex life? But you don't want to know about it? That person would love the above section of this song by rando British boyband, Blue. You can just imagine them reciting what they did last night to you using similarly specific language, and you making whatever stock "uncomfortable face" you have out of necessity/habit.

I really like this song, except for this part. The chorus is catchy and so are the verses. When I get to this part, I just fast forward and feel awkward. These guys are just wayyy too specific. There really aren't rhymes here, either, which I guess could justify the absurd amount of detail. Couch/out? Slow/before? And then ending with a weirdly vague, "no duh!" statement? No shit, you're going to make love for the entire evening?!?! I had NOOOOOO IDEA.

Ridiculous Song #10 - Enrique Iglesias, "Don't Turn off the Lights"

So don't turn off the lights

I don't wanna be in the dark tonight

Cause I can't read your mind
I need to know if what I'm doing is right

Don't people usually like to turn off the lights to be romantic? When are people like "Yeah, let's take this to the next level! YEAH! Fluorescent lights? That's so hot!!!"? That's right, (almost?) never.

He also needs to know if what he's doing is right. Bitch please...you're Enrique. But seriously, such a declaration gets the scientific nomenclature of TMI. Cheeeeeeeeeell.