Thursday, July 9, 2009

Ridiculous Song #12 - Girls Aloud, "You Freak Me Out"

I think you're weird, it's written on your resume

No, it probably isn't.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Ridiculous Song #11 - Blue, "U Make Me Wanna"

F_200411_november13_161192a.jpg (300×210)

I'll take you home real quick
And sit you down on the couch
Pour some Dom Perignon and hit the lights out.
Baby we can make sweet love.
Then we'll take it nice and slow.
I'm gonna touch you like you've never know before
We're gonna make love all night.

You know how there's always that one person you know who doesn't hesitate to tell you everything about their sex life? But you don't want to know about it? That person would love the above section of this song by rando British boyband, Blue. You can just imagine them reciting what they did last night to you using similarly specific language, and you making whatever stock "uncomfortable face" you have out of necessity/habit.

I really like this song, except for this part. The chorus is catchy and so are the verses. When I get to this part, I just fast forward and feel awkward. These guys are just wayyy too specific. There really aren't rhymes here, either, which I guess could justify the absurd amount of detail. Couch/out? Slow/before? And then ending with a weirdly vague, "no duh!" statement? No shit, you're going to make love for the entire evening?!?! I had NOOOOOO IDEA.

Ridiculous Song #10 - Enrique Iglesias, "Don't Turn off the Lights"

Enrique%2BIglesias.jpg (324×400)

So don't turn off the lights
I don't wanna be in the dark tonight
Cause I can't read your mind
I need to know if what I'm doing is right

Don't people usually like to turn off the lights to be romantic? When are people like "Yeah, let's take this to the next level! YEAH! Fluorescent lights? That's so hot!!!"? That's right, (almost?) never.

He also needs to know if what he's doing is right. Bitch please...you're Enrique. But seriously, such a declaration gets the scientific nomenclature of TMI. Cheeeeeeeeeell.

Ridiculous Song #9 - Westlife, "Obvious"

Now I'm reading into everything*
But there's no sign you hear the lightning, bayybayy

I'm pretty sure the same guys who wrote Fool Again wrote this gem. (Sad part is, I'm not being sarcastic when I call this a gem. Whatevah.) Almost no deficiences within the lyrics, except for insane cheesiness (but what else is new?) and the opener of "We started as friends, but something happened inside me." (Does it rhyme with shmamydia?)

But Westlife is sad that their addressee doesn't "hear the lightning." But you know why they don't? Because it's impossible. In Ireland they probably just spend school preparing for what they would say if they meet Westlife walking down the street, but when I was in school, I learned that thunder goes BOOM (makes noise!) and lightning doesn't make any noise and just makes light, hence the word (?). Maybe Ireland is just topsy-turvy world, though, which'd be awesome for me, as this straight girl would be a gay man, which would give me ridonculous amounts of carte blanche to dance around in hot pants to Girls Aloud, Lady Gaga, and Westlife. YES.

(Sorry if I offended any Irish and/or gay people. I didn't mean to. YOU'RE AWESOME! Yay.)

*In this song, it sounds more like "every-thayy-hayyng," just sayin'.

Ridiculous Song #8 - Westlife, "Fool Again"

westlife-unbreakablethegreatesthits.jpg image by melisa89up
Baby, I know the story
I've seen the picture
It's written all over your face

Not gonna lie here, I'm a fan of this Westlife song. So is my friend, whom I've converted to Westlife-loving-dom. So finally other people in the US like Westlife. NBD.

But what the fuck is up with the above lines? How can a picture be written all over someone's face? Still don't see? Read on.

Person #1: Hey, what are you doing?
Person #2: Aw, nothing much. Just writing a picture.

Something about that is very wrong. You can't write a picture. Swedish songwriters are behind these guys, Nsync, BSB, Britney...AND (now) Kelly Clarkson, Katy Perry, and so on. They have a good command on the English language - enough to write catchy and popular songs. But there are slip-ups every so often and, oh man, is this one of them. Gotta go. I have a picture to write.